Friday, December 11, 2015

The Empty Desk

     As our Pennfield family deals with the death of two students, I am reminded of students that we have lost in years past. The best way to handle the pain is to rely on those around you. Students, teachers, administrators all helping, praying, comforting and loving each other as they go through their day. The death of a student was never talked about in any of my college courses. I was blessed to not experience the death of a classmate while I was in school so I did find myself ill-equipped to handle this as a teacher. Luckily, I work in a tight-knit community with great students and staff members. We have a tight bond that strengthens during times like these and have had great co-workers and family to lean on and learn from.
     One of the long term issues that I had struggled with after a student death was the empty desk. After the pain and shock wears off, the empty desk remains there for the rest of the year. I still remember where Dominic sat 9 years ago and I remember seeing that empty desk for the remainder of the school year. After moving school buildings, rooms, and grade levels, Dominic's desk is still empty in my mind.
     The best way for me to work through the pain is to remember the great times with the students, past and present. I can remember seeing Dominic's huge smile; talking to him about wrestling and music. I also remember walking with him out of the room on the day he died, not knowing the extent of the torment the kid was going through.
     I resolve to use this as a reminder why we do what we do and the impact these kids, our kids, have on us. And I will continue to use the empty desk as a reminder to continue to try and connect with my students, my kids, as best as I possibly can so that students know the positive impact that they have on teachers, peers and the world around them.